Have you ever felt like nothing and everything matters at the same time?
The days feel longer, and you feel like nothing gets better. There’s little to no energy to go about the day. You’re skipping meals and responsibilities, and your bed is the only place you feel like you belong.
This is a cry for help; your body needs desperate attention. It can get dangerous to push through if your body’s under a lot of stress, leading to chronic burnouts that make you more detached from life itself. Not only will it ruin the relationship you have with people, but also yourself.
It might help to know that self-care itself can also vary and is also a personal and individualized experience. One size will not fit all, but understanding what self-care actually is and what it is not might help us grasp an idea on how to find the right form of self-care for ourselves.
What Self-Care is Not
One of the simplest things to understand is that if your form of self-care is exhausting, it’s not really self-care. Let’s break it down.
It’s not about fancy diffusers, floral bath bombs and organic foods. It’s not about how many steps you hit today or how much sleep debt you get. Measuring our happiness through how much “work” we’ve done will just trap us into endless criticism.
Self-care is not:
It’s never about running away from your responsibilities or your problems. Not addressing the root causes of your problems or even avoiding it altogether is a counterproductive way of coping. Worst case scenario? You grow prone to bury yourself in addiction like abusing substances or compulsive gambling. Pretty much like Margot Robbie’s character in Babylon.
Self-care, like a journey to well-being, is a process, one that may never even end and will be done throughout our lifetime. Quick fixes are a reactive response that provide temporary relief that makes us focus on one thing and neglect others. Sometimes, it even involves us to force certain things to work, like maxing out your credit card or taking a trip you don’t have the budget for. There’s a fine line between treating yourself and making excuses to over-indulge. When we struggle with self-control, we lose our sense of balance.
While there may be moments where it’s much more effective to spend time by yourself and figure things out, going MIA for too long from your loved ones might just make things worse.. With the lack of communication and contact, your loved ones wouldn’t know how to get the help and support that you need.
What Self-care Actually is
The most fundamental aspect of self-care lies in awareness. It’s not dissociating away from reality which oftentimes, sucks. Self-care is not easy, sure, but sometimes what’s needed is just exercising small routines with each day passed. It is to know what’s right for you while also maintaining a sense of fairness and balance between your responsibilities.
Taking Care of Your Needs
Spiraling down often starts with basic needs being neglected. Skipping meals, staying late at night to make up for the me-time you’ve lost during the day, or even postponing taking a shower.
By encouraging yourself to look after your own needs, you’ll regain back the self-control needed to maintain the balance within. Sometimes, you don’t have to eat organic mumbo-jumbo salad or commit to a 10 steps skincare regimen for this to work. Knowing what’s best for you and being consistent in doing so is better than forcing yourself to adhere to certain standards.
Make the time to slow down every once in a while. Allow yourself to rest and to process, instead of escaping. Make the time to do all the things you didn’t get to do like curling up with a good book, or spending time with your loved ones. Finish the craft you’ve been planning. Sign up to those workshops that intrigues you. Invest in yourself.
Be sure to also make time to exercise, however small. Washing dishes, doing your laundry, or even cleaning your room is a double-point exercise that will help you develop healthy habits. Besides, it’s also very rewarding to enjoy a job well-done!
Maintain Your Support System
The most important thing would be to always keep your cup full. Not halfway full, nor even halfway empty. Surround yourself with the people that not only encourage you to be the best version of yourself, but those who’d be willing to climb down and just chill in rock bottom with you.
Do what works for you and don’t rob yourself out of living. Set your boundaries, set your priorities, and find your purpose.
At Bobocabin, we are more than just a place to rest. We’re a community, dedicated to supporting your journey to well-being, every step of the way.
We’ll be there with you when you need time to rediscover and redefine what self-care means to you. Check out more tips for your well-being journey through our social media channels, or stay tuned for more!