Ramadan is a holy and sacred month for Muslims. It is the ninth month in the Islamic calendar, which is believed to be the time when the Quran was sent down to earth as a means to guide humans into doing good deeds. That’s how Ramadan became a time of spiritual reflection, self-improvement, and spiritual discipline.
Of course, the journey to spiritual discipline takes much more than just fasting. While it is a great practice, spiritual discipline also comes from within. You must first learn to let go of the spiritual trap that is grudge, as it can take away the focus from yourself and breed anxiety, aggressiveness, and hatred.
So let’s take a moment during this Ramadan to shift the focus back to ourselves, find out why letting go is tough and how you can learn to let go.
The Struggles of Letting Go
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You can’t expect that you’d be able to let go of your past overnight. After all, for you to hold on to it for so long must mean that you hold an emotional value to it.
That emotional connection is precisely why letting go can be hard. It’s a sign that there are some unresolved emotions that haven’t been addressed, perhaps some questions that can’t be answered that left you feeling anxious or even resentful.
It’s often also a type of coping mechanism. Some people hold onto the pain of their past as a way to remind them of the event that hurt them, so that they don’t ever get hurt like that ever again.
Both of these reasons can affect your self-esteem and relationship with other people. Grudges often manifest themselves as anxiety that makes you question everything, such as questioning if everything you do will upset others.
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In more extreme cases, you could even end up isolating yourself from socializing out of fear that you’d be hurt again. Or if your resentment turns into anger, you could do something that would endanger yourself and the person you had a conflict with.
In the end, nothing good could ever come out of holding grudges. It takes away the focus from yourself and your well-being as you worry more about what others do rather than how you can improve yourself.
You should remember that it’s one unfortunate event that happened with a lot of factors that are out of your control – no matter how good your intentions are, how people take it is up to them. So let’s learn to be kinder to yourself and let go of past grievances for a better future!
How to Learn to Let Go
1. Forgive, Not (Just) Forget
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The first step of letting go is to forgive. But to do it properly, you must learn how to face it head-on instead of just sweeping it under the rug.
Acknowledge how they have hurt you and how it affects you, then take a moment to listen to what they have to say – if they ever decide to tell you. If they don’t, put yourself in their shoes and practice empathy to see how their circumstances could have led them to behave that way.
Be sure to take your time with it, forgiveness sometimes doesn’t come easily but it will eventually come when the time is right.
2. Pray and Meditate
Through praying and meditating, you can better connect with yourself spiritually and find peace. In this moment, you may find clarity and think better without any emotions clouding your judgment.
Praying and meditating also helps reduce stress and control anxiety, so it can help you control any impulse that may arise after a conflict.
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3. Focus on Yourself
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A conflict usually happens as a result of two people’s quarrel. And whether it’s your or the other person’s fault, you’re bound to feel hurt by it.
Take a moment to focus on taking care of yourself, nurture the emotional wound until it’s healed by doing the things you love and surrounding yourself with love.
Don’t look back on it with hatred. Instead, take it as a lesson – how you can handle a situation better or what type of personality doesn’t match yours – that way, you’ll always show growth as a person.
4. Pull Away From that Certain Environment, If Possible
If you ever find yourself in an environment with constant conflict and you feel resentment starts to build up, take it as a sign to pull away. It can happen in a friend group or at work, staying will only harbor anxiety and stress.
By pulling away, you can put some space between the toxic environment and yourself so that it doesn’t take up too much space in your mind. You can then start fresh and explore other possibilities that are better for you.
5. Be Gentle with Yourself
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Like we said, letting go doesn’t happen overnight. Be sure to be gentle with yourself throughout the process, as healing isn’t linear.
You might forget about the event some days, while remembering it on some other days. As long as you don’t let it consume you, you’ll still be on your way to letting go.
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6. Be Emotionally Independent
Not all conflicts end in an apology, you have to learn to accept that some conflicts don’t end with closure. Know that it’s not your fault, it may be that the other person involved is emotionally immature and chose to avoid the problem.
That’s why being emotionally independent is important. You don’t need to seek others for emotional validation, be confident that not everything is within control and to always give your best in everything you do.
So now that you know how grudges can affect you, it’s time to prioritize your own self and start the journey towards letting go. By finding your inner peace, you might even get closer to God during this Ramadan.
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Quiet and serene, each cabin and pod are equipped with state-of-the-art technology that allows you to adjust the lighting according to your mood and bluetooth speaker that can play brown noise to support your meditation.
Especially convenient during Ramadan, you won’t need to set any alarm or worry about preparing any food for suhoor! Our staff provides suhoor-call services and you’ll get free suhoor to keep you energized for the rest of the day!
Download the Bobobox app on Play Store or App Store for booking and more information.
Author: Sheila Lalita
Header image by: Thirdman via Pexels
